'Stan Helsing' Trailer: The Unofficial, Straight-to-Video 'Scary Movie 5'

September 23, 2009

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Here's a trailer that within moments will make you ask, "Dear god, who is making something this terrible?" and then promptly answer, "One of the guys who brought you Scary Movie [obviously]!"

As the title implies, Stan Helsing focuses on a terrible parody of Van Helsing (played by someone who appears to be Mark McGrath dressed as Axl Rose) fighting terrible parodies of Freddy, Jason, Pinhead, Chucky, Michael Myers, and Leatherface (Fweddy, Mason, Needlehead, Lucky, Michael Criers and Pleatherface--seriously). And since one clearly needs assistance for such a daunting, sure-to-be-hilarious task, he brings along two babes and Kenan Thompson in a Superman suit.

It looks even worse than that sounds. As in it begins with a joke about how, with enough forced grunting, pumping and spraying a Super Soaker is reminiscent of masturbating and ejaculating:

At least this updates the answer to the age-old question, "Is Leslie Nielsen still alive and will he still do absolutely any spoof movie presented to him?": "Yes and yes, and now in drag."

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