Hollywood, Meet Your Next Leading Man

January 4, 2010

verne-troyer-peeing.jpg

Movie news is still slow, bogged down with holiday residue, so, hey, let's see if any extremely small humans want to be diminutive action heroes...

Yes, indeed one does:

In an interview with Parade magazine, [Verne Troyer] argued that his 2ft 8in height should not count against him in auditions for lead parts.

Troyer, who is best known for his role as Mini-Me in the Austin Powers movies, commented: "I can play the leading man. I can play the action hero, maybe in just a different way. I look at it as, you know, if you set your mind to it, you can do it.

OK, fair enough, Verne. Maybe you're right. Perhaps the fact that you're so small that any fighting you take part in--as the Austin Powers films have clearly demonstrated--is so ridiculous it's automatically infused with comedy shouldn't count against you for lead parts in action films. But shouldn't this...?

Sorry, Verne, I just can't see you as a Bond knowing that a single martini will render you screaming incoherently and urinating on exercise balls. Thankfully, I see you're willing to compromise:

"And I'm just trying to show people that I'm more than Mini-Me, even though I loved playing him and I'd do him again in a minute if Mike Myers asked me.

Phew!

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