Alright, Joaquin Phoenix, are you done with your make-believe "I'm nuts!" game? Because Clint Eastwood apparently still wants you to do some legitimate acting that doesn't involve hookers and poop. Vulture says the craggy director wants him to be in Hoover opposite Leonardo DiCaprio, who's likely playing the film's eponymous FBI director. Phoenix would play Clyde Tolson, Hoover's underling and longtime lover--because, if you didn't hear, J. Edgar Hoover was a big time secretgay. And if that's still not awardsy enough of a premise for you to bother with, the script is written by Dustin Lance Black, the Academy Award-winning writer of Milk. All this film needs is some Victorian garb, a little realistic CGI, and women, and it will win every award. Time to shave, Joaquin.