'Conan the Barbarian' Trailer Provides Clanging, Animal Sounds, Explosions

May 5, 2011


When you hire Marcus Nispel, the director of the reboots of Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Friday the 13th, to remake something, you shouldn't be too surprised when the result is a dimly-lit recreation that neither does justice to the original nor particularly offends it. He is the film world's middle-aged lounge band, thanklessly performing uneven, forgettable covers to a bored and inattentive crowd. With that in mind, this Conan remake looks about right.

KABLOOEY! Of course he still runs from explosions. Might as well carry that action trope over to the swords & sorcery genre. And while you're at it, get Julie Taymor in here to shoot a few scenes with some mud-caked dudes. She loves that shit.

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