If the first Mirror Mirror trailer was the one asserting, "We are the wacky Snow White, not the one with the droopy, terrifying Silver Surfer," this is the trailer that reiterates, "Did we mention we've got Nathan Lane, every noise we could squeeze out of World's Zaniest Sound Effects, Vol. 2, and the twin from Social Network acting like a fucking dog? Honestly, we even got real dwarves actually doing that stand-on-each-other's-shoulders-to-look-like-a-normal-sized-man routine you only see in cartoons. That's how little anyone involved took this seriously."
Mirror Mirror comes to us from Tarsem Singh, the Fall director who really seemed like he was building up to something great until this and Immortals set him on the career path to forever make tone deaf fantasy on a sound stage. The film opens nationwide March 30, and stars Julia Roberts, Lily Collins, Armie Hammer, Nathan Lane, and--despite his lack of face time--Sean Bean. You can't make a film involving intricate suits of armor and not expect Sean Bean to show up as soon as he hears the familiar ring of a clanging sword.