Stallone Confirms "Chuck Norris Fact" That Chuck Norris Insisted on PG-13 Rating

January 19, 2012


Confirming what Chuck Norris yesterday said regarding Expendables 2--a movie ostensibly about a bunch of burly action heroes brutally murdering ten times their weight in nameless villains--being a film "kids can go see," Sylvester Stallone has written in to AICN's Harry Knowles to acknowledge, yes, the film has a PG-13 rating. BUT apparently you won't care about that, so filled will you be with the many bloodless, "fuck"-free entrées on Stallone's Barbeque [sic] of Grand scale Ass Bashing--plus, Van Damme is INSPIRED:

Harry, the film is fantastic with Van Damme turning in an inspired performance... Our final battle is one for the ages. The PG13 rumor is true, but before your readers pass judgement, trust me when I say this film is LARGE in every way and delivers on every level. This movie touches on many emotions which we want to share with the broadest audience possible, BUT, fear not, this Barbeque of Grand scale Ass Bashing will not leave anyone hungry...Sly

Alright, Stallone. As requested, I won't yet pass judgement. But keep in mind, for this film to deliver on every level, one of those levels is going to have to involve Van Damme doing the splits in mid-air, putting a foot through Liam Hemsworth and a foot through Dolph Lundgren, and then wearing them around as shoes. Otherwise, I'm sorry, but I just don't see that supposed "final battle for the ages" really having the necessary vengeful gravitas/human shoes to truly be "LARGE in every way."

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