'TMNT' Movie Now Being Called 'Ninja Turtles', In Case Michael Bay Decides They Aren't Teenagers Anymore

March 26, 2012


Michael Bay's decision to turn the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles into completely-lovable aliens may be the first step towards building a richer world--a world in which giant turtles are a race, because that should have you choking on richness already--but constructing such a utopia of TMNT origin stories does bring along some new issues to deal with. Most obvious, there's the issue that the characters are specifically described as "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles," and none of those words is "alien."

But don't worry, guys, our visionary foreman has a solution: he'll just drop the whole "Teenage Mutant" thing and name his film the more casual, more alien-tolerant "Ninja Turtles." And here we thought Michael Bay had abandoned all pith on Transformers: Dark of the Moon.

According to BleedingCool, producer Bay and director Jonathan Liebesman have, with the same cavalier attitude with which they threw out the Turtles' ooze-based origins, tossed away half the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' titular descriptors. Their fim's working title is reportedly now just Ninja Turtles, thus freely allowing the characters to be aliens--and also allowing the character to be middle-aged, in case Michael Bay decides we could build a "richer world" through watching the Ninja Turtles setting up an IRA and spending the night in with Nights in Rodanthe. The [richer] world bends at Michael Bay's whim.

To be fair, though, this title change doesn't necessarily reflect any actual change to the characters' ages. And, in fact, this newly-abbreviated "Ninja Turtles" name probably isn't all foreign to anyone who grew up with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise. Remember? We kids sometimes referred to them as "Ninja Turtles," too! Michael Bay is just like us! Except for having an unrelenting desire to cruelly distort our childhood friends into possibly-aged extraterrestrials. Otherwise, just like us.

Still, if he's not going to call them "Teenage," he could at least have the decency to call them "Barely 18 Ninja Turtles." For my imagination.

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