'Machete Kills' Will Have As Many Attractive Women as It Has Giant Knives (Several)

May 7, 2012


For those who remain strangely unaroused by the erotic bellowing of Mel Gibson, Robert Rodriguez will offer up a few more-traditional beauties in his upcoming Machete sequel.

Variety reports Machete Kills now has Sofia Vergara involved, and because she possesses the shapes that she does, she will of course be playing a "leather-clad" character who I'm guessing will not quite fit in her bustier. The part is Madame Desdemona, a brothel-running madam whose crack team of "Mexican harlots" have some information that Machete needs, forcing our hero to exploit the trust inherent between leather-clad harlots and leather-skinned federales.

Vergara joins returning stars Jessica Alba and Michelle Rodriguez, as well as newcomers Amber Heard--who apparently didn't get her fill of grindhouse ridiculousness with Drive Angry--and Gibson, who will play an arms dealer that will probably not be clad in leather but probably will get his head hacked off by a machete. And then, with Gibson symbolically sacrificed and forgiven, we can get on with making Maverick 2. This time Mav has to win a tournament in EUROPE!

(Thanks, Jay)

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