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'Sinister' Trailer: Ethan Hawke Frees Demonic Pedophile from Home Movie Prison


When writer Ethan Hawke moved his family out to a new, cheaper home where a family was brutally murdered in the suburbs, he THOUGHT he'd use the setting and rent savings to write "the best book that anybody's ever read." He has a "really good feeling" about writing this book that's insinuated to be about the old residents' deaths! But when Ethan Hawke discovers and proceeds to digitize (he always tells his friends he's a bit of a "gear head") an old box of 8mm film in his newly-affordable attic, he finds more than just the joyful vicarious experience of someone else's barbecue party. THOSE ARE THE DELIGHTFULLY NOSTALGIC HOME MOVIES OF A PAGAN DEITY, ETHAN HAWKE! And as it turns out, in sort of a retro Ring scenario, by watching said 8mm movies, Hawke has freed Bagul, a big-time goth music fan (you can just tell) and spirit pedophile that consumes the souls of children, drastically lowering an area's property value enough that poor writers can move in with their kids. It's a SINISTER cycle, indeed. And on that note, here's the trailer for Sinister, the latest film to take irrational pride in being "from the producer of Paranormal Activity and Insidious":

You burned the films, Hawke, but you forgot to do Secure Empty Trash on your MacBook, you fool! The videos will still technically remain on your hard drive until you overwrite them with a new pagan deity's files! How sinister.

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