Shia LaBeouf Continuing Work in Holes with 'Nymphomaniac'
Finding it impossible to ignore the way Shia LaBeouf's raw sexuality oozed from every loose seal in Bumblebee's chassis, the way each cried "OPTIMUUUUS!!!" echoed like a final shriek of ecstasy punctuating a steamy night spent with someone named after a robot semi-trailer, Danish director Lars von Trier is seeking the participation of LaBeouf for the upcoming erotic drama Nymphomaniac.
LaBeouf would be joining Stellan Skarsgård and Charlotte Gainsbourg, already cast as a husband and wife--the latter being the titular sex fiend who, over the course of two films, recounts her heavily-eroticized journey from childhood to the age of 50, thus reasserting why only the extremely confident should pry into their spouse's sex lives. Von Trier is expected to shoot and edit each film as both a soft-core drama and an all-out fuck-fest, allowing for easier distribution in markets still not ready to see the star of Even Stevens thrusting. Though, as THR notes, it's not yet clear what LaBeouf's role would be, so it's slightly premature to assume he'll be rolling around with Gainsbourg. Only makes sense, though, right? He was, after all, the Willem Dafoe of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
Anyway, if you missed it when it was making headlines, here's a recent Sigur Rós video that can serve as a LaBeouf penis primer, if you want that. (NSFW, obviously.)