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History Channel Bringing 'The Bible' to Theaters


When the History Channel's ten-part The Bible miniseries aired last month, some critics and viewers voiced concerns that the show's portrayal of Satan was meant to look like President Obama. Others, meanwhile, just thought, "Man, ten parts is a lot of parts. Couldn't you trim that down, just give me a gist of Jesus, and maybe an excuse to get out of the house?" Those latter people are the ones that will be pleased to hear this news: now The Bible is being edited down to a slim three-hour cut to be thrown in theaters as early as this fall. Producer Mark Burnett reportedly dropped the news, explaining that they don't yet have a distributor and may end up doing it themselves with a less conventional approach, saying, "We could put it into arenas. There are a lot of possible choices we could go with." In the end, their choice will come down to His will, apparently, as Burnett went on to say "it was God's voice" always guiding the series' success. "Too many things happened to see it any other way." Science can try as it may, but it will never explain the irreducible complexity of anyone still deeming History Channel programming a valid source of information.

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