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'Nymphomaniac' Sex To Be Handled by CGI Porn Centaurs

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Sorry, but it sounds like Nymphomaniac won't be satisfying any longheld dreams of watching Christian Slater stick his dick in something. Though director Lars von Trier has promised sex in his film would be as un-simulated as the human despair, producer Louise Vesth has now clarified that while the sex will indeed be real, the excited genitals involved won't necessarily belong to who you think they do.

"We shot the actors pretending to have sex and then had the body doubles, who really did have sex, and in post we will digital-impose the two," Vesth explained to The Hollywood Reporter. "So above the waist it will be the star and the below the waist it will be the doubles," an exquisite corpse of Stellan Skarsgård and XXX hardcore action.

The time required for the post-production humping synthesis was apparently one of the key reasons the film was not ready for this year's Cannes Film Festival. But such are the sacrifices von Trier makes as a true technical innovator in the world of pleasureless sex.

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