Relativity Media has joined the rest of humanity in completely, utterly having no hope for a Stretch Armstrong movie. The company has reportedly dropped the film from its April release schedule and ending its partnership with Hasbro, owners of the elasticated, shirtless man who would clearly make for a great movie.
The project has long been ill-fated in more than just its fundamentally gross, unstable innards. In 2010, Hasbro and Universal teamed up to develop it as a loose form to contain the gunk that is Taylor Lautner. After a couple years of that never quite congealing, Stretch Armstrong became gritty, as will happen if you ever take the toy outside or give it to The Crazies director Breck Eisner, who was re-imagining the tale as "a gritty actioner introducing the character of Lucas Armstrong and the life-or-death consequences he will face after undergoing a transformation granting him superhuman abilities." That was the state of things up until this announcement, which now leaves in the position of either giving up on this or trying to find a new studio to finally get production going. Hopefully they'll choose the latter. We just can't leave this story untold: