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'Road House' Is Getting Remade, But Be Nice, It's Nothing Personal

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As if Patrick Swayze's ass could ever be replaced, MGM has set about developing a remake of their cult classic Road House. According to TheWrap, the studio has hired Alex Cross and xXx director Rob Cohen on to string together more nonsensical wisdom and face punches into an updated take on the 1989 tale of being a super-cool cooler.

The original film is a B-movie of the highest order, directed by Rowdy Herrington and starring Swayze as a philosophy-major, throat-rippin' bouncer named Dalton, Kelly Lynch as a sexy doctor cleverly nicknamed "Doc," and Sam Elliott as Swayze's similarly-awesome mentor bouncer, because becoming a bouncer is generally a career one achieves through apprenticeship. It's built a cult status mostly for its over-the-top sequences that include a human throat being torn out by hand, a monster truck being driven through a car dealership, and Swayze delivering the best monologue ever written. In other words, a self-serious, modern remake from the director of Stealth will likely be a pretty painful thing to watch. But on the bright side, at least it won't hurt.

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