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'Nymphomaniac' Arriving Woefully Spread Apart Next Spring

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While Denmark is getting all of Nyphomaniac this Christmas, a celebration of when their mythological Tomte arrives to get in some hardcore fuck action, it seems the U.S. will have to wait until spring for Lars von Trier's artfully pornographic take on Garry Marshall's Valentine's Day. As was suspected, distributor Magnolia Pictures is dividing up the depressing sex romp into two parts, with the first reportedly hitting theaters March 21 after first heading to on-demand March 6, just in case you'd prefer to watch this in privacy for any reason. After getting all worked up, you'll have to wait a bit before getting the climax: part two doesn't head to on-demand until April 3, finally making its way to theaters April 18. In time for Easter, at least.

  • May 21, 2013
    Sorry, but it sounds like Nymphomaniac won't be satisfying any longheld dreams of watching Christian Slater stick his dick in something. Though director Lars von Trier has promised sex in his film would be as un-simulated as the human despair, producer Louise Vesth has now clar... / Continue →
  • February 12, 2013
    Lars von Trier's Nymphomaniac has been getting a lot of press for its inclusion of unsimulated intercourse between some notable cast members, but as everyone knows all too well, hardcore sex acts don't mean a thing if there isn't some way to anonymously leer at them. Thankfully... / Continue →
  • August 9, 2012
    Finding it impossible to ignore the way Shia LaBeouf's raw sexuality oozed from every loose seal in Bumblebee's chassis, the way each cried "OPTIMUUUUS!!!" echoed like a final shriek of ecstasy punctuating a steamy night spent with someone named after a robot semi-trailer, Dani... / Continue →
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