Ever since he got caught plagiarizing his short film, then likewise copying his apology for that, Shia LaBeouf has seemed to shift his sights from feigned remorse to creating some kind of larger, muddled art piece out of the whole affair. Throughout the last half of December, the would-be provocateur has intermittently kept it up with a string of further stolen apologies; while his first was lifted discreetly from a Yahoo Answer, the rest have been far more blatant, not-quoted from the likes of Mark Zuckerberg, Alec Baldwin, and Russell Brand.
His reason for all this tweeted spectacle? Mocking you, you dummy.
"You have my apologies for offending you for thinking I was being serious instead of accurately realizing I was mocking you," LaBeouf tweeted on the New Year's Eve, quickly quieting our revelry. But that condescending apology was accompanied by another, this one surprisingly admitting that this shit has all been pretty stupid. "I am sorry for all the plagiarized tweets, they all were unintelligent, ambiguous and needlessly hurtful," he wrote.
With that needlessly said, he officially made his New Year's resolution "to work on being a less controversial tweeter," and Wednesday afternoon brought us our first look LaBeouf 2014's newly-anodyne tweet method: skywriting. Or, as LaBeouf prefers to think of it, CLOUDwriting; with the above skywritten apology to original offendee Daniel Clowes came this explanation:
CLOUD: - vapor floating in the atmosphere - remote servers used to SHARE DATA - to make LESS CLEAR or TRANSPARENT
Get it? The clouds represent the confused messages of his tweets! Does this guy know how to pay a pilot for reparations or what? Though, it should be mentioned that he forgot "cloud: a state or cause of gloom, suspicion, trouble, or worry." As in, "a dark, ominous cloud already hung over the freshly dawned new year, a woeful portent that we'll apparently be spending another year talking about the many regrettable ways Even Stevens continues saying he's sorry."