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Vanilla Ice Decries New, 'Artificial' Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Rap

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Those who grew up on the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise no doubt recall "Ninja Rap," the 1991 Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze song that somehow established Vanilla Ice as even more of a novelty act. So, in a rare instance of a modern human listening to Vanilla Ice, GQ recently decided to ask the ninja rapper what he thought of that new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles track from Juicy J, Wiz Khalifa, and Ty Dolla $ign. And as it turns out, Vanilla Ice does not like it, because it is not real enough for a true magical ninja like him.

"With respect to all of the artists, the song doesn't really do it for me," said Ice. "It feels a little artificial--what I mean by that is that it sounds like a bunch of executives in the corporate world put it together. It really does not fit the theme of the Ninja Turtles legend. I think you have to understand, and be a true Ninja, to possess the Magic to really pull off the secret sound."

Sorry, guys, but you're just a shade too corporate for a man who last performed "Ninja Rap" to sell Kraft macaroni and cheese.

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