I Watch Stuff

October 4, 2005

Do you know what happens when you spend your entire life sitting in front of a screen watching movies and television? Not only do you become ruggedly handsome like me, you also meet lots of pretty women in fancy bars and learn to seduce them with a simple wink of the eye. Plus, your brain grows to be the size of a car and you become smarter than Albert Einstein and Stephen Hawking combined. Yes that's right, a healthy addiction to the moving pictures is the perfect way to get handsome, get women, and get smart.

So sit back, relax, and learn everything about movies and television that I know. Which, ironically, is absolutely nothing.

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