Angelina Jolie Prepares For Tomb Raider 3

April 21, 2006


Tomb sanctity is in jeopardy, again! In between making preparations for the birth of the most sexually appealing infant in the world and adopting things, Angelina Jolie has agreed to star in the third installment of the monumentally frivolous Tomb Raider film franchise. Disingenuously bisexual women everywhere will tout the Oscar-winning actress as their sole lesbian desire more than ever, according to a source:

Angelina is already in training to make sure she gets rid of her post-pregnancy bulge. She wants to be in tip-top shape and look better in Lara's outfit than ever.

Fans of synergy should note note that the latest Tomb Raider game is currently enjoying surprising success, and my Pregnancy Fetishists Anonymous sponsor, Cory, should note that I've fallen off the wagon again. One day at a time, man. One day at a time.


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