Leo DiCaprio: Communist?

February 27, 2007


In a case of cinematic yellow fever, it's been announced that Leonardo DiCaprio will follow up his role in big Oscar winner The Departed with another Honk Kong remake, the thriller Confessions of Pain.

"Pain" follows two close friends, one a police detective and the other a private detective, who team to investigate the murder of the cop's father-in-law. As the investigation proceeds, they uncover evidence that shows that nothing is as it appears.

The original, released last year, was created by Alan Mak, Andrew Lau and Felix Chong, the team behind "Infernal Affairs," the Hong Kong film on which Oscar
winner "Departed" was based.

This either means that DiCaprio has learned a new respect for Hong Kong's rich film traditions and wants to adapt those stories for underexposed American audiences or, in my preferred theory, that Leo is a filthy communist betrayer, ready to sell our military secrets to the Chinese for some movie rights and a massage. Either way, I propose we react with violence.

Leonardo Di-Fact-rio: Heathrob Leo is slowly transforming into a big-headed combination of Kid Rock and Dracula.


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