Shia LaBeouf Coming to Your House, Banging Your Girlfriend

April 16, 2007


Shia LaBeouf is playing Indy's son in the next Indiana Jones movie. He's also the star of Disturbia, which took number one at the box office this weekend, and Transformers, the most talked-about Michael Bay turd since that time he clogged up the toilet at my sister's house. He was all like, "Sorry dudes! I think something must've crawled up in my guts and died!" We all had a good laugh at first, but then we had to call a plumber.

Anyway, I, for one, am happy for LaBeouf. But you know who's not? Sunnis. They hate seeing a Shia succeed.

UPDATE: According to IMDB, the Plot Keywords for Transformers are "Desert, Comic, Car Chase, Giant Robot, Romance". If Michael Bay made a movie about my life, the keywords would be "Adonis, Tijuana, Swordfight, DVDA, Nougat, Barn Owl".


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