Spider-Man to Fight Carnage, Lizard, Apathy

May 7, 2007


Nerd Boner News Hour:
As superhero movies go, Spider-Man 3 may not be X-Men 2, but it's not exactly Daredevil, either. Still, the idea that I'm reporting on the villains spidey will fight in the next movie before anyone knows whether the director or any of the stars will be back makes me want to take a clearasil shower.

Dylan Baker, who apparently is the one-armed college professor who has appeared briefly in all of the Spider-Man movies, will become the lizard-like villain known cryptically as "Lizard" after injecting himself with reptilian DNA in an attempt to re-grow his missing arm, while Carnage is a serial killer named Cletus Kasady who comes into contact with some of Eddie Brock's "symbiote" goo in prison just before my mom caught me masturbating to Counselor Troi and made me go to the doctor to get dandruff medication.


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