Germans Say 'Nein' to Cruise Once and For All

July 3, 2007

"Ve hate you, Tom Cruise." "Yah, like, stay avay from aur monuments."

After early reports that Cruise's alien worship were hindering Valkyrie's ability to get the necessary permits, and subsequent denials by German officials (apparently they're sensitive about the whole 'hating people for their religion' thing, go figure), the Finance Ministry has declined producers of the film permission to shoot at the Benderblock, a Defense Ministry building where German officer Claus Schenk Graf von Stauffenberg, played by Cruise in the film, was executed for attempting to assassinate Adolf Hitler.

A Finance Ministry spokesman said the memorial, a "place of remembrance and mourning, would lose dignity if we were to exploit it as a film set." Another request to shoot at a Berlin police station was rejected after "intensive review," according to a spokesman for the Berlin police department. "The adverse impact to the facility would be so grave that the request had to be denied."

And by adverse reaction, he no doubt meant the evil spirits of dead aliens bent on the destruction of Scientology's new closeted-homosexual messiah. On the plus side, "Benderblock" totally reminds me of "Bend the Block", which in turn reminds me of this kickass commercial with a funny Asian guy.


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