I'll Have Another Footloose, Extra Gay, Hold the Bacon

July 11, 2007

I wish I was queer.../so I could get chicks

Seems that someone out there has discovered that 12-year-old girls have plenty of disposable income and love musicals (I discovered that their panties smell nice, but that's neither here nor there...). Since writing new musicals is kind of hard, Paramount decided to remake Footloose, which was, like, kind of a musical.

The regrettably Bacon-free remake will star Zac Efron (High School Musical, Hairspray) and will be directed by Kenny Ortega (like the chili). The 1984 original, of course, told the story of a rebellious newcomer to a town where dancing has been banned.

It reminds me of my hometown. A place where most folks just couldn't understand that inside this masculine adonis in a crotch-stuffed leotard breathes the soul of a dancer!


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