Monkey Hate Movie

July 2, 2007

chimp_gun.jpg
My life-sized Jerry Bruckheimer cutout really comes in handy on Monkey Target Practice Day. Great shot, Mr. Farnsworth! Care for a smoke?

PETA claims to have received reports from the set of the Wachowski Brothers' Speed Racer that the chimp actor playing Chim-Chim was beaten after biting one of the actors.

A movie spokesperson confirmed that a chimp did chomp on a young actor, but said that the actor was treated and the animal was given a rest. She sent along assurances from the American Humane Society that no animals were being abused.

PETA reportedly isn't satisfied with these assurances, and is pushing producer Joel Silver to replace the live monkey with something more humane, like animatronics, or Russell Crowe.

Freaked out monkeys, a transsexual director, dominatrix mistresses - Jesus, it sounds like Michael Jackson's birthday party down there. The monkey wrangler obviously forgot the first rule of chimp handling - get your ape addicted to tobacco. Nothing soothes an angry primate like a relaxing cigarette.

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