Strange Jack and the Beanstalk Movie Coming

August 3, 2007

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Is this movie conceivable? Debate.

Avalon Family Films has plans to make a series of ten low-budget family films, the first being a live-action rendition of the classic fairy tale Jack and the Beanstalk. Katey Sagal, Wallace Shawn, Gilbert Gottfried, Chevy Chase, Christopher Lloyd, Daniel Roebuck, and James Earl Jones are set for roles. Scriptwriter Flip Kobler added, "There are winks and nods to pop culture and other fairy tales that adults will also enjoy." Here are the obvious issues that occur to me with this project:

1) How many fairy tales with winks and nods to pop culture do we need? I'm not clear if Flip Kobler is somehow oblivious to Shrek, Hoodwinked, and Happily N'Ever After or if he just outright decided we need another Shrek, Hoodwinked, or Happily N'Ever After.

2) Speaking of writer Flip Kobler, this is co-written by a man named Flip Kobler.

3) How is this live action? Pretty much all of these people are better voice actors than normal actors, or at least are aged enough that they're not pleasant to see on screen, and it's obvious they want this to be like one of the aforementioned CGI films, so what gives?

4) It's really sad that a movie being hyped as low budget is still able to hire Chevy Chase, Christopher Lloyd, and James Earl Jones. Such are their careers.

5) Finally, please stop hiring Gilbert Gottfried. The voice was cute for a few years of USA Up All Night and a parrot in Aladdin, but it's starting to get a bit grating. Let's just call it quits.

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