Jonas Brothers are Disney's New Hanson, Earth's New Evil

September 26, 2007

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Following the success of other teen musical stars like Hannah Montana, the Cheetah Girls, those little assholes from High School Musical, and others I'm surely forgetting, Disney is setting its sights on making the Jonas Brothers the next Tiger Beat sensation.

Kevin, Joe, and Nick (your guess is as good as mine as to who's who) will star as the cleverly-titled J.O.N.A.S.--Junior Operatives Networking as Spies--who thwart evil while working undercover as a superstar teen rock band. The nation breathes a collective sigh of relief that someone is picking up the work of Josie and the P****cats, absent save for a brief appearance since 1972.

Next, these little shits will hit the big screen in Disney's Camp Rock playing, in a bit of a casting twist, a superstar teen rock band that helps out in a rock camp. It's something like School of Rock but without any of the charm, replacing that with the intention of getting 12-year-old girls off.

Disney also plans a televised concert for the little pricks, to be immediately followed by a worldwide psychological reassessment to determine exactly why we'd allow the creation of another Hanson.

Disney spree for Jonas sibs [Hollywood Reporter]

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