You know one profession that hasn't been degraded enough through history? Mall cops. Despite the late hours, the goofy cop-like uniforms, the incessant mocking by teenagers, the stupid little cart with the flashing yellow light, and the lack of absolutely any actual power, I worry this group may be getting a bit haughty. And though the security guard is almost always portrayed in film as a bumbling boob sleeping on the job, an ineffective protector, or a comic relief, no one has really laid into these guys to let them know just how worthless they are.
Thankfully, Kevin James is set to deflate their egos a bit with a writing/starring gig in Mall Cop. The story tells of a fat, mild-mannered security guard who's forced to try to prevent a gang of organized thieves from robbing the mall. It should be hilarious to see how such an feeble waste as a mall cop will handle a dangerous situation! Probably much like the actual impotent law-keepers would handle it--stupidly! And because this is a Happy Madison production, we've got a great chance of Rob Schneider playing an ambiguously-retarded security guard with a funny voice! Take that, mall cops!
Kevin James to star in 'Mall Cop' [Variety]