Christmas Watching Recommendations For a More Christmasey Christmas

December 21, 2007

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In the spirit of things, I've posted a completely un-definitive list of Christmasey movies and specials to watch this weekend. It was admittedly thrown together in the last hour (thanks to those who helped), so leave anything I missed in the comments. The omission of Home Alone, It's a Wonderful Life, and Chevy Chase Christmas was not a mistake.

I will be back Wednesday.

In no particular order...

The Long Kiss Goodnight - My friend's family has a tradition of watching this Geena Davis/Samuel L. Jackson classic every Christmas Eve. With lines like "Suck my dick, every one of you bastards" and countless others, why is it not a part of yours?

A Charlie Brown Christmas - It goes without saying. But I thought I'd say it.

Silent Night, Deadly Night III: Better Watch Out! - As if the exclamation point in the title isn't urging enough, it's directed by cult icon Monte Hellman and features a guy with a clear plastic brain case. If exposed innards don't say Christmas, I don't know what does.

Scrooged - It probably won't be as good as you remember it being (it wasn't for me), but I still think of it as the definitive retelling of A Christmas Carol. If a reformed Bill Murray begging you, the audience, to sing Put a Little Love in Your Heart doesn't give you some holiday spirit, you are an asshole.

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians - Despite the title giving away the ending, it's still worth watching for sheer awfulness. The Mystery Science Theater 3000 version might be preferable if you have a low tolerance for shit.

The Office Christmas Special (UK) - Barely touches on Christmas as a holiday, but it's all the better for it. Few things provide as much hope as the knowledge that Tim and Dawn finally get together.

Santa Claws - A softcore-holiday-horror-porn about a guy dressed as Santa stalking a softcore-horror-porn actress. He kills people with one of those little garden claws you use to airate dirt!

A Christmas Story - Assuming TBS is still running this for 24-hours straight, you won't be able to avoid it anyway. Remind yourself that as long as toy guns, frozen poles, and bullies with yellow eyes exist, Christmas will never be free of danger.

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