Michael Bay is not to be messed with. He's staged armageddons, forced people to walk in slow motion, spun cameras around things, blown stuff up, and all with the hair of an aging rocker. Michael Bay is not going to let some whining writers interrupt his schedule. That's why, when whoever has the torturous task of writing a two-hour toy commercial/nostalgia generator sat back down at the keyboard today, they were greeted with a little surprise: A Michael Screenbay.
Yes, as my sad amalgamation of "screenplay" and "Bay" nearly implies, Michael Bay has cranked out his own rough draft of Transformers 2, complete with such novel concepts as characters and story--new to Bay's repertoire. But what's really interesting is that it turns out he's been doing this all along:
I've been writing Transformers 2. We've got our characters all designed. I always write all my scripts, my movies anyway so at least I've got something to give the writers. It's like a template. We have a really good outline so I worked on that.
So you mean to tell me that after watching Armageddon, utterly infuriated as to how anyone could combine so many absurd plot points, ridiculous dialogue, and explosions into one film, cursing the names of Robert Roy Pool (story), Jonathan Hensleigh (story, screenplay), Tony Gilroy (adaptation), Shane Salerno (adaptation), and J.J. Abrams (screenplay, and yes, that J.J. Abrams), I should have also been cursing the name Michael Bay? All along, he's been contributing more than just the aesthetic of a car commercial? I mean, it makes sense with the consist level of idiocy he's maintained, but he could have said something earlier.
Michael Bay Says He Already Wrote Transformers 2 [Rotten Tomatoes]