Man, it was really great how that guy with the ball-gag was getting hacked up with a chainsaw, but I can't help but wish my children could partake in this, but at a level of violence that wouldn't permanently scar them. Would anyone actually say that? You wouldn't think, but apparently Eli Roth's friends have. The Hostel director told reporters at the NME awards that everyone he knows has been saying, "When are you gonna do a movie my kids can see?" In response, he announced a break from so-called "torture porn," turning his attention to a PG-13 mass-destruction-sci-fi film. So there. Now are you happy, all you people Eli Roth knows who really want you kids to see his films?