Main Themes of 'Anna Nicole' Biopic Demonstrated

May 9, 2008

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As far as I know, that ill-conceived, low-budget Anna Nicole Smith biopic I mentioned a few months ago never came out. But I did just find out that, like so many hotly-anticipated cinema events, it's been leaked online! The news gave me a moment of excitement that quickly passed as I realized I would never watch that. There's no way to justify spending watching two hours of Anna Nicole Smith's actual life, let alone a flimsy recreation, no matter how comedically disastrous it might be. But I suppose if someone were to break it down into a seven-and-a-half minute dissection of the main themes (Anna had titties; Anna was curious; Anna thought she looked like Marilyn Monroe; Anna=Anna, Anna genuinely loved that old, rich guy played by George Costanza's boss at the Yankees; Anna really loved pills and booze; Anna really, really loved coffee; Anna was friggin' fat; and Anna returned from the dead to narrate her own biopic), that I might be able to rationalize.

Oh, good. Someone did.

Warning: if you plan to watch the full length version, you may want to avoid this preview, as it could be a spoiler that the ghost of Anna Nicole Smith drives away with her ghost son.

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