Robert Rodriguez Producing 'Red Sonja', Guess Who's Playing Her!

June 27, 2008

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Robert Rodriguez has announced plans to produce a Red Sonja film slated for 2010, and surprise, for once he isn't trying to inappropriately cast his girlfriend, Rose McGowan, in the lead role. No, I'm kidding; he's obviously inappropriately casting his girlfriend in the lead role. From USA Today:

The Grindhouse co-director will produce a new big-screen adventure featuring the flame-haired comic-book vixen. While Brigitte Nielsen wielded Sonja's sword in the poorly received 1985 version, Rodriguez's Planet Terror zombie slayer and real-life leading lady, Rose McGowan, will wiggle into the metal mesh bikini in the 2010 release.

Jeez. She will be a horrible Red Sonja. How are they possibly going to rationalize this? With false modesty and claims of an inner commonality to the character? Yes.

McGowan's initial impulse when offered the part? To laugh.

My impulse was to roll my eyes, but I suppose laughter is an equally valid response. I'd also accept slamming something, loudly sighing, or, for true fans of Red Sonja, weeping.

"When they first came to me with it, I thought it was funny," says the actress, 34. "I do have a body made for sitting on a veranda with mint juleps and a parasol. I don't know why I always have to save the planet."

No, it's true: your frail, ghost-like frame is more suited for southern damsel caricatures than barbarian women. Why would you possibly take this role?

"I do have a very scrappy-do personality."

Oh, right, because you have that rare quality of being similar to Scooby-Doo's nephew. But does this movie fit your theme? Also: what is your theme?

"The story has characters trashed by life who fight their way back. That is my theme."

One more question. Will this role necessitate being completely able-bodied? I know it seems like sort of an insane question, but people are wondering.

Unlike her one-legged Planet Terror heroine, she assures, "I need all my limbs for this."

OK, then. Let the nepotistic filming begin!

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