John Woo Adapting Comic About This Really Rad Gun

July 17, 2008

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Variety is reporting that John Woo has plans to direct an adaptation of Radical Comics' Caliber. What is Caliber, you ask? It's a comic that takes Arthurian legend and places it in the setting of the Wild West. And how have they done that? By replacing Excalibur with the stupidest gun ever. From the Radical Comics website:

Caliber itself is a tattooed six-gun, given to Arthur by the Indians and imbued with supernatural power.

I thought it was considered a bit uncouth to still refer to to Native Americans as Indians, but OK, ignoring that, a supernatural gun sounds kind of neat. So what's its power?

The secret of the gun is that it is never loaded with bullets, but when a man with Justice on his side is holding it, it can fire.

Just like only Arthur could wield the sword. OK, that makes sense.

Wait, there's more?

When it does [fire], it fires Thunder itself...

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What? Like the sound, capitalized? Even if you mean lightning, you're seriously saying the gun shoots lightning (or Thunder)? Fine, that's pretty stupid, but still not quiet the stupidest gun ever.

and [it] never misses.

What? So the gun is supernatural, requires no bullets, only fires when "Justice" is on the side of the shooter, shoots "Thunder," and never misses. That is officially the stupidest gun ever. At least until I finish my comic about a ghost gun (literally the ghost of a dead gun) that makes wisecracks, can morph into a car, and shoots living shuriken.

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