George Clooney Playing 'Lone Ranger'? Why Not

September 26, 2008

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Following yesterday's announcement that Johnny Depp will be playing Tonto in Jerry Bruckheimer's The Lone Ranger, rumor is spreading that George Clooney will be taking the role of the masked hero himself. Of course. Why wouldn't he be? From AICN:

Word as of now is that George Clooney has shown a lot of interest in the role of the Lone Ranger, and the studio's been talking to him about it. Previously it was rumored that Nic Cage was up for the role, but that rumor died a long time ago. Clooney's name has come up quite a number of times since.

There was once a time when news of a Lone Ranger movie would lead to me say something like, "Yikes, let me guess, you get Clooney to play the goofy-but-handsome lead, Johnny Depp as Tonto, and you have Jerry Bruckheimer add some explosions," and everyone would say, "Laugh out loud! You're a great satirist! That is so what Hollywood would do--only they obviously won't really do that because it's too typically "Hollywood" even for them. The only way it would be more ridiculous is with Nic Cage in the lead." But if they're going to actually do that, even to the point of considering making it a Nicolas Cage vehicle, where can I go from there? Suggest Michael Bay direct? Offer that they make it a cross-over with the upcoming disaster/action/awesome-shit take on Moby Dick? Ponder how Bruckheimer somehow beat Judd Apatow into putting Seth Rogen and Kal Penn in the saddles? It's getting really hard to parody Hollywood when they've already drawn such an accurately grotesque caricature of themselves.

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