'Twilight' Trailer, for Your Daily Dose of Obsessive Vampire Teen Romance

October 10, 2008


God, Twilight is so romantic. I wish someone would use super vampire strength to save me from an approaching, out-of-control Chevy Astro. Or run me up a tree at vampire speeds. Or throw large branches around willy nilly for me. Or present me with apples I'd dropped. Or murder vampires for me. Or forcefully make me tell them they're a vampire, then growl those special words, "You are my life now." SIGH. Well, at least there's this movie I can masturbate to:

Abusive relationships are so sexy when they're with the undead. (Thanks, Bethany!)

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