Roland Emmerich, director of Independence Day, Godzilla, and The Day After Tomorrow, has made another movie on his favorite subject: some kind of disaster destroying Earth. The trailer suggests doing a "Google search" on "2012" (the trailer's main goal is confusing grandparents with terms they don't understand), so I did that. Results reveal that Sarah Palin is stoking speculation she'll run again in 2012 (that's a real apocalypse, ya know!?), AND THAT THE MAYAN CALENDAR WILL END ITS 13th CYCLE, which many crazies interpret as meaning humans will die, be elevated to a higher level, or "that Biaviian aliens will allow passage aboard their Great Mother Ship." Ancient civilizations and crazy people have never been wrong about anything before, so we should probably just take this movie a fact. However John Cusack survives is how we will survive as a people.