Let's Remake 'Romancing the Stone'

December 4, 2008

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Fox wants to remake Romancing the Stone? Alright. In these trying economic times, we must all make sacrifices to keep Matthew McConaughey employed. From THR:

Fox is bringing "Romancing the Stone" to the big screen again, swinging into development a remake of the 1984 adventure movie and tapping Daniel McDermott to write it.

The original movie helped launch Robert Zemeckis as a director, turned Michael Douglas and Danny DeVito -- then best known for their TV work -- into film stars and established Kathleen Turner as a romantic lead.

Written by Diane Thomas, "Romancing" told the story of a repressed romance novelist who travels to Colombia to find her missing sister only to meet up with an American soldier of fortune. The two embark on a cross-country adventure involving a map, a jewel and a private police force.

TELL ME this means someone will cover Eddy Grant's Romancing the Stone theme, which might be (almost certainly is) the worst song ever recorded. It's so, so bad, and it never ends. There's always another chorus, or a guitar solo, or even more chorus. You need to bring a few Nature Valley bars if you're going to listen to it in one sitting. It's not even long so much as arduous.

If you haven't heard this horrible titular song, you need to experience the music video, paying special attention to when Eddy throws a machete into the air and it turns into a guitar for him to pretend to play:

I don't know who could possibly do this song any justice, but I'm up for suggestions in the comments.

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