Hell-nooooooooo! No, Robin Williams is Not Playing Susan Boyle

August 24, 2009

mrs-doubtfire.jpg

Today in movie news British tabloids have clearly made up:

Robin Williams has reportedly revealed that he has been asked to play Susan Boyle in a biopic of the singer.

He told the Daily Star: "I've been asked if I want to play Susan in the movie. I think she's incredible. That clip of her singing on Britain's Got Talent was extraordinary. So inspiring. It was quite a shock when she began to sing."

He continued: "I saw some other clip of her singing 'Cry Me A River' a few years ago. It was incredible. She's got a really great voice."


Shut up, Daily Star. Someone on your writing staff falling asleep watching Britain's Got Talent and Mrs. Doubtfire on consecutive nights does not mean Robin Williams is playing Susan Boyle in a biopic. Furthermore, I seriously doubt anyone would ever, ever make a Susan Boyle movie. It would be either extremely boring, extremely depressing, or both, and we'd all already know the lackluster ending: her achieving reasonable but fleeting notoriety for her nontraditional combination of being old and unattractive yet somehow having a good voice (though not good enough to win a competition). Oh, wait, I guess now the even more depressing ending would be that she finally gets a biopic where she'd played by a man. That sounds like a great plan for a film.

Besides, Robin Williams has never gone eight sentences without some kind of nonsensical/topical/once-topical impression or spastic freak-out. At least add a "[stands on chair; seems to be imitating Elvis?]" if you want your fake quote to be believable.

Williams: 'I've been asked to play Boyle' [Digital Spy]

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