Barbie is a Movie Now

September 24, 2009

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Ever wonder why you never see a movie about an attractive blond-haired woman who owns some things? Well, now you have an answer: because only now has a studio gained the rights to such a unique concept.

Following months of negotiations, Universal has acquired the rights to make a live-action film based on Mattel's line of Barbie toys.

Though the plastic role model star has starred in numerous straight-to-video animated films--mostly Barbie shoehorned into a pre-existing story, such as Barbie in the Nutcracker, Barbie in Rapunzel, Barbie of Swan Lake, Barbie as the Princess and the Pauper (her first dual role), Barbie in a Christmas Carol, Barbie Thumbelina, and Barbie and the Three Musketeers--this will be the first time an actress will attempt to match the doll's physical impossibility.

The way I see it, this could go one of a few ways:

1. The Legally Blonde Way - They embrace Barbie's bimbo image and use it to show young girls that even an attractive ditz can get her act together while still wearing pink. Unfortunately, there's a reason this is called "The Legally Blonde Way: This is already the plot to Legally Blonde. I give it 5:1 odds.

2. The Enchanted Way - Instead of pretending Barbie is a real person, they acknowledge her status as a doll icon and use that as the central plot element. Through some magical means, a doll comes to life, and romantic comedy ensues as our hero tries to find her Ken and get a fashion job in real-world Manhattan with only her naive, optimistic understanding of humanity. (2:1)

3. The Self-Aware Way - Barbie's idealized, completely unrealistic image and lifestyle are played up as a satirical, feminist statement of Barbie culture (written by Diablo Cody). In some ways, this would be the easiest to write, but I don't see Mattel approving of a script that mocks every horrible thing Barbie stands for. (20:1)

4. The Non-Sexual Sex and the City Way - Probably the version Mattel would be happiest to see, this romantic-comedy approach sees Barbie as a smart, successful, fashionable young woman living in the Upper East Side. Everything is going great--except her love life! That all changes when she runs into Ken, who seems like the perfect guy--but she gets so klutzy around him! Ut oh! Does he love her too? (3:1)

5. Wild Card - Jessica Simpson, two extremely dissimilar hunks vying for her affection, and a pink convertible. (7:1)

Read More: barbie, mattel, movie, news, toy
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