Someone decided to take smarmy douche Tom Cruise from Jerry Maguire, super spy Tom Cruise from Missions Impossible, and Tom Cruise with assistance from Cameron Diaz from Vanilla Sky and cram all these distinct characters into a The Fly style telepod. This is the grotesque, single figure that emerged from the other side:
Those two are as different as NIGHT! ... and DAY! And also their names are probably Knight and Day or something!
With Bounty Hunter coming to theaters as well, I feel like I must have won a Stockholm syndrome-based action-romantic-comedy sweepstakes.