The People and/or Entities That Could Win Golden Globes Are...

December 15, 2009


Ah, the Golden Globes: our most precious Earth effigies. Who will be given the chance to add one to their mantelpiece this year, proof that they'd have rather have won an Oscar?

Here are your nominations, with commentary added as needed:

Best Picture, Drama


The Hurt Locker

Inglourious Basterds


Up In The Air

[Avatar? That's sort of surprising. I would have guessed The Blind Side before that. I thought pseudo-inspiration was an easy auto-nomination.]

Best Picture, Musical/Comedy:

500 Days of Summer

The Hangover

It's Complicated

Julie & Julia


[It's Complicated? Who knew the Foreign Press was so boringly menopausal?]

Best Director:

Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker

James Cameron, Avatar

Clint Eastwood, Invictus

Jason Reitman, Up In The Air

Quentin Tarantino, Inglourious Basterds

Best Actor in a Drama:

Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart

George Clooney, Up In The Air

Colin Firth, A Single Man

Morgan Freeman, Invictus

Tobey Maguire, Brothers

Best Actress, Drama:

Emily Blunt, The Young Victoria

Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side

Helen Mirren, The Last Station
Carey Mulligan, An Education

Gabby Sidibe, Precious

[Ah, there's our Blind Side nomination. Instead of rewarding the film, they're rewarding the accent.]

Best Actress, Comedy:

Sandra Bullock, The Proposal

Marion Cotillard, Nine

Julia Roberts, Duplicity

Meryl Streep, It's Complicated

Meryl Streep, Julie & Julia

[Sandra Bullock again? For THE PROPOSAL. Oh, fuck off. But still, not as shocking as the fact that enough people remembered Duplicity to nominate Julia Roberts.]

Best Actor, Comedy:

Matt Damon, The Informant!

Daniel Day-Lewis, Nine

Robert Downey Jr., Sherlock Holmes
Joseph Gordon-Levitt, 500 Days of Summer

Michael Stuhlbarg, A Serious Man

[Is it appropriate to give Michael Stuhlbarg Best Actor in a Comedy when he made me feel horrible far more often than jovial?]

Best Supporting Actress:

Mo-Nique, Precious

Julianne Moore, A Single Man
Anna Kendrick, Up in the Air

Vera Farmiga, Up in the Air

Penelope Cruz, Nine

Best Supporting Actor:

Matt Damon, Invictus

Woody Harrelson, The Messenger

Stanley Tucci, The Lovely Bones

Christopher Plummer, The Last Station

Christoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds

Best Screenplay:

District 9

The Hurt Locker

It's Complicated

Up In The Air

Inglourious Basterds

Best Foreign-Language Film:


Broken Embraces

The Maid

The Prophet

The White Ribbon

Best Animated Film:


The Fantastic Mr. Fox

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs

The Princess and the Frog


[Hey, where's Avatar!? LOL! Because Avatar uses so much CGI.]

Best Original Song:

"Cinema Italiano", Nine

"I Want To Come Home", Everybody's Fine

"I Will See You", Avatar

"The Weary Kind", Crazy Heart

"Winter", Brothers

[It seems wrong that Where the Wild Things Are, which is nominated for Best Original Score for a soundtrack composed largely of songs with vocals, wouldn't have a song nomination. Karen O and screaming children jumping around on stage would almost make sitting through a lavish production of Cinema Italiano worth it.]

Best Original Score


The Informant!


A Single Man

Where The Wild Things Are

TV Series, Drama:

Big Love



Mad Men

True Blood

TV Series, Comedy:

30 Rock



Modern Family

The Office

Best Actress, TV Drama:

Glenn Close, Damages

January Jones, Mad Men
Julianna Marguiles, The Good Wife

Anna Paquin, True Blood

Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer

Best Actor, TV Drama:

Simon Baker, The Mentalist

Michael C. Hall, Dexter

Jon Hamm, Mad Men
Hugh Laurie, House

Bill Paxton, Big Love

Best Actress, TV Comedy:

Toni Collette, The United States of Tara

Courteney Cox, Cougar Town

Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie

Tina Fey, 30 Rock
Lea Michele, Glee

Best Actor, TV Comedy:

Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock

Steve Carell, The Office

David Duchovny, Californication

Thomas Jane, Hung

Matthew Morrison, Glee

Best Mini-Series Made for Television

Georgia O'Keefe

Grey Gardens

Into The Storm

Little Dorrit

Taking Chance

Best Performance By an Actress in a Mini-Series

Joan Allen, Georgia O'Keefe

Drew Barrymore, Grey Gardens

Jessica Lange, Grey Gardens

Anna Paquin, The Courageous Heart of Irena Sendler

Sigourney Weaver, Prayers For Bobby

Best Performance By an Actor in a Mini-Series

Kevin Bacon, Taking Chance

Kenneth Branagh, Wallander: One Step Behind

Chiwetel Ejiofor, Endgame

Brendan Gleeson, Into The Storm
Jeremy Irons, Georgia O'Keefe

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Supporting Role

Jane Adams, Hung

Rose Byrne, Damages

Jane Lynch, Glee

Janet McTeer, Into The Storm

Chloe Sevigny, Big Love

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Supporting Role

Michael Emerson, Lost

Neil Patrick Harris, How I Met Your Mother

William Hurt, Damages

John Lithgow, Dexter
Jeremy Piven, Entourage

So what do you think? Voice all praise and grievances below.

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