My Prediction For Worst Movie of 2012

February 9, 2010


Stretch Armstrong, starring the muscley one from Twilight (his second toy-based role in three months!). From Heat Vision:

Taylor Lautner has signed on to star in “Stretch Armstrong,” Universal’s movie based on the Hasbro toy.

The studio is also making the movie in 3D, which will push back the release date of the movie from May 15, 2011 to some time in 2012.

The story developed for the movie, being produced by Imagine and Hasbro, sees an uptight spy who stumbles across a stretching formula, which he takes and must now adjust to in everyday life and when fighting crime.

I have nothing personal against Taylor Lautner. I find it odd that the only emotions I've seen him portray in photos are elated and dumbfounded, but I don't fault him for being a part of the Twilight thing. You gotta make a living taking your shirt off somewhere. Still though, I want to say right now that this will be the worst movie of 2012, mainly because I can't imagine what a positive review for such an ill-conceived idea could even sound like. "Graciously spares us the terrible Jackie Chan or Eddie Murphy wacky-action spy film you'd expect of the Stretch Armstrong concept by instead giving us a terrible Taylor Lautner wacky-action spy film, which, if nothing else, is at least a blander awful thing"? That's the best I can figure.

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