Jonah Hex Must Always Be Nervously Pushing His Tongue Through That Thing

April 21, 2010


Warner Bros. has at last released a high-res image of Josh Brolin in his Confederate burn victim makeup for Jonah Hex, revealing to me that there's no way I can comfortably watch this film.

When my grandpa was still alive, I could barely stand looking at his face because he had this little mole hanging ever so delicately just above his left eye, and all I could do was sit there wishing, praying a dermatologist would storm into that Chili's (the guy loved Chili's) and lop that thing off. How am I supposed to endure two hours with this fleshy tendril dripping off a cheek? Christ, just take care of that, Jonah Hex.

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