This weekend, GET DUKED! No, don't.
Director: Tom Dey
Starring: Owen Wilson, George Lopez, Lee Pace, Judy Greer
Good if you want to see: the comedy of Marmaduke comics come to life! Can you imagine anything worse-sounding than that?
Get Him to the Greek
Director: Nicholas Stoller
Starring: Jonah Hill, Russell Brand, P. Diddy
Good if you want to see: the Russell Brand's Character from Forgetting Sarah Marshall/Jonah Hill spin-off buddy comedy that you never thought would exist--because why would it?--but now it does, as evidenced by the nonstop advertising.
Director: Robert Luketic
Starring: Ashton Kutcher, Katherine Heigl
Good if you want to see: A version of Mr. and Mrs. Smith that asks the question, "Why is it Ashton Kutcher is doing more than sell cameras? Also, why is he doing that?"
Director: Vincenzo Natali
Starring: Adrien Brody, Sarah Polly, Delphine Chaneac
Good if you want to see: Species with less sexiness, more deformed heads.
Director: Neil Jordan
Starring: Colin Farrell, Alicja Bachleda
Good if you want to see: Splash taking itself seriously, with Colin Farrell.
Whiz Kids (limited)
Director: Tom Shepard
Starring: three intelligent, passionate 17-year-olds
Good if you want to see: a documentary that will restore your confidence in the science and math education of America's youth--until you see the crazy shit Chinese kids know. They know so much.