Sorry, Eyes, 'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1' Won't Be 3-D

October 8, 2010

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With a little over a month until the the latest Harry Potter film opens, Warner Bros. has announced they just aren't going to have time to covert the effer into 3-D that's reasonable by anyone's standards before the film's November 19th release. Sorry, 3-D lovers. Warner--who, may I remind you, is the same company that put out that shit 3-D Clash of the Titans--issued a statement, saying, "Despite everyone's best efforts, we were unable to convert the film in its entirety and meet the highest standards of quality," to which director David Yates agreed, saying the decision "underscores the fact that Warner Bros. has always put quality first," except for when those times when they clearly didn't care whatsoever.

Hey, wait, I just had an idea, Warner Bros.: What if you release the film in 2-D in November, then re-release it in 3-D later, just before the release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2, giving gullible audiences an excuse to see the film again as a refresher with a questionable improvement in quality? Why, that seems like such an obvious idea, it's almost like that's already the plan to milk every last dollar you can out of this franchise before its final chapter, that you've already divided into costing two movie tickets, ends!

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