'Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters' Looking a Tad 'Van Helsing'-esque


Hansel and Gretel are all grown up, and now they're pretty into the goth industrial scene, apparently. On Wednesday, Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton were spotted draped in leather straps in Germany, where they're shooting Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters, so now we have our first look at how much cow skin is being thrown at this production. A lot! And maybe Ben Stiller's transplanted scalp, also?


Leonard Nimoy Returning to World of Transforming Robots

Remember that robot guy, with the goatee, on the moon, in the Transformers 3 teaser? THAT'S Leonard Nimoy. The popular Vulcan--who voices Galvatron in the original Transformers animated movie--has agreed to join Michael Bay's latest cocktail of clanging and exploding, Transformers: Dark of the Moon. He'll be providing the voice of Sentinel Prime, an ancient alien robot that was wrecked Earth's moon, discovered by NASA, and somehow eventually ends up pretending he's a firetruck.

Here's a sample of what it will sound like if the Nimoy-voiced fire engine ever backs up:

Tyler Perry Will Dress as Old Woman at Least a Couple More Times


Ensuring us fruitful collaborations among Lionsgate, Tyler Perry, and grey wigs far into the foreseeable future, T.P. and his longtime studio have signed a new, multi-year agreement that extends the arrangement they've had since 2005's Diary of a Mad Black Woman first introduced film audiences to Perry's crass take on Mrs. Doubtfire. Also part of the deal: the promise of a minimum of two more films that will explore the continuum of melodrama and cross-dressing that is the Madea franchise. Hallelujer!

Posters: 'Everything Must Go', 'Hesher', Some Mermaids


It's no Anchorman 2, but Will Ferrell will at least reprise his role as a reckless drinker in something, and here's the poster for that. Yay! In the dramedy Everything Must Go, he plays a relapsed alcoholic who, fired and kicked out of his house, holds a yard sale to sell all his belongings. One man's retreat into dependency is another man's chance for a nice deal on a coffee grinder, so he can finally start getting the whole beans. I guess.

Anyway, here are some more posters, too:

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'Avatar' Sequels Will Be Jam-Packed with Frames


Avatar 2 and 3 are going to have so many fucking frames, everyone!

Speaking as if the main issue with Avatar was Sam Worthington's herky-jerky movement, James Cameron announced that he "fully intends" to shoot that film's sequels at a higher frame rate--likely at twice the usual speed of film or video. And to prove that the process won't result in something as annoying-to-look-at as when I accidentally had "Motionflow" enabled on my TV, Cameron plans to present some of his ultra-smooth footage tonight, saying of it:

When you author and project a movie at 48 or 60, it becomes a different movie. The 3D shows you a window into reality; the higher frame rate takes the glass out of the window. In fact, it is just reality. It is really stunning.

There's a revolution brewing, and it's going to change the world of collecting crisp nip-slip screen captures.

Schwarzenegger Parlaying Referential Nickname into Cartoon Career


For months, Arnold Schwarzenegger has teased what he might take on as his first part since being free of all those obligations he had when we let the guy from Pumping Iron run an entire state, and now, at last, he's made his announcement: he'll be playing a cartoon superhero version of himself! Because that worked out OK for Hammer, right?

Working with comics legend--and Pamela Anderson cartoon creator--Stan Lee, Schwarzenegger is developing a character cleverly called The Governator. Obviously based on the former governor's nickname (“When I ... started hearing people talking about ‘the Governator,’ I thought the word was so cool,” Schwarzenegger explained of his love for the semi-derisive portmantea), The Governator is planned as both a comic book and a poorly-rendered animated series that Arnold assures us "combines the governor, the Terminator, the bodybuilding world, [and] the True Lies"--the True Lies part no doubt referring to the fact that wife Maria Shriver and their children will also be animated characters, living peacefully in the Brentwood home that serves as a facade for The Governator's subterranean crime-fighting lair. (Note: I'm serious about all this.)

While bodybuilding was already promised as a prominent plot element, gorilla-like strength won't be the only item on Governator's toolbelt. Also at his disposal is a wealth of vehicles, a full closet of "Super Suits"--allowing him to fly, sneak into futuristic leather-daddy bars (I assume, from the costume above), etc.--and a sidekick: a 13-year-old computer expert named Zeke Muckerberg, a young partner who provides Governator with "cybersecurity" and a meaningless reference to the creator of Facebook. Together, Schwarzenegger and his underage charge will fight a variety of villains, one of the recurring foes being a group that calls themselves "Gangsters Imposters Racketeers Liars & Irredeemable Ex-cons (or G.I.R.L.I.E. Men, for short)." Get it? Because Dana Carvey and Kevin Nealon would say "girlie men" in a sketch parodying Schwarzenegger, and then he co-opted the term for himself. And now, in a Carmen Sandiego-esque twist, it's being used as an insulting acronym for a crime organization.

In short, Arnold Schwarzenegger is animating an exercise in complete lack of self-awareness.

Kutcher-Bieber Buddy Comedy Forthcoming


It was fairly inevitable Justin Bieber would be given his awkward shot at movie stardom, but I don't think any of us could have predicted just how convoluted that attempt would end up being. That is, unless you already imagined the eventual Bieber movie as a buddy comedy about him hanging out with literally a 30-something version of himself--as played by the non-literal 30-something version of himself, Ashton Kutcher--because that's apparently what it's going to be. The film, titled What Would Kenny Do?, has reportedly been quietly developing for months, with Biebs attached to play a 17-year-old being counseled, somehow, by his future self--fellow coolguy hat-wearer Ashton Kutcher. What an exciting premise for anyone with a comforter drowning in stuffed animals!

Honestly, is this a punk'ding, guys? Because I'm really not sure such a cruel mutation of the the future-self-and-me trope should really be considered for something as casual as a punk'ding.

Geoffrey Rush a Freakish Green Lantern Now


As Warner Bros. continues its attempt to convince us Green Lantern has slightly more dignity than the first trailer and associated ass-heavy materials have suggested, the studio is expected to on Thursday announce the addition of 75%-of-an-EGOT-winning actor Geoffrey Rush to the cast. The Los Angeles Times has heard the news early, reporting that Rush will voice alien Tomar-Re--the bird-beaked mentor of Reynolds' Hal Jordan and one of the few members of the Green Lantern Corps more unsettling and frail looking than Geoffrey Rush himself--though it's still unclear if the Australian actor has already recorded his lines or, like with Michael Clarke Duncan, they're just now hurrying to throw a recognizable voice on their CGI pile. I wonder how this honor compares to being on a postage stamp.

Garner Not Old Lady Detective Yet, 'Monsters University' It Is, Cyclops Playing Manson, and More

- Agatha Christie rights holders claim the deal for Jennifer Garner to play a 38-year-old version of elderly detective Miss Marple isn't yet closed, though Deadline's investigation was unable to determine exactly what's going on with the project. Sounds like a case for Ben Affleck's wife.

- Disney-Pixar's Monster's Inc. prequel is officially titled Monsters University, assuming an '80s B-movie didn't already call dibs on that.

- Ridley Scott wants to tell the Lawrence of Arabia-like story of Gertrude Bell and has hired The Constant Gardener writer Jeffrey Caine to put together a script to direct. After he tells the equally important story of Monopoly, presumably.

- Adam Davenport's story of the murder "I Fought The Law" singer Bobby Fuller, Dead Circus, has attached Melissa Leo, Michael C. Hall, and James Marsden to its cast, with the star of Hop playing Charles Manson. Good luck topping Bob Odenkirk's performance.

- And in mobster news: Sean Penn and Ryan Gosling have been offered the parts of mobster Mickey Cohen and a cop trying to bring him down, respectively, in Ruben Fleischer's Gangster Squad. Meanwhile, John Travolta is playing John Gotti, as was rumored. The Dogfather is finally on Netflix instant watch, too.

Bryan Cranston in 'Total Recall'; Mars Now Euromerica for Some Reason


I wouldn't go throwing away your collector's edition Total Recall DVDs w/ Mars-shaped tins just yet, but Len Wiseman's remake of the sci-fi film is starting to sound just a little more promising thanks to the addition of the always-enjoyable Bryan Cranston. The Emmy-winning star of Breaking Bad is reportedly in talks to play opposite Colin Farrell as the film's villain, Vilos Cohaagen, played by Ronnie Cox in the original.

As usual, though, it's one step forward, two steps back: while the casting of Cranston is inspired, apparently now the character will have nothing to do with the administration on Mars. Instead, says the Hollywood Reporter, he's "the leader of Euromerica who, under the cover of protecting his people, is secretly readying an invasion of New Shanghai." How relevant for a Western world that's growing increasingly anxious about China but still only moderately distrusts Mars.