'Captain America' Trailer: Not Watching Puts You on a Government Watchlist

March 24, 2011

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Giving all of our anemic patriots hope for magical rapid-steroids, Marvel's full Captain America trailer has arrived, laying out as plainly as possible the well-known origin of our most blatantly 'merican superhero and his famous shield. (The shield began conceptually as a meager trashcan lid, it turns out.) Let's watch!

Some thoughts:

Yeesh, Howard Stark lowering his glasses... he can't believe what a hunk he created! He knew he'd be ripped, but this was like taking the glasses of the nerdy high school girl! Howard Stark's ready to buy the calendar! Now how long is it going to take for someone to dub Yello's "Oh Yeah" over his awed reaction?

Those flamethrower assholes should really be shooting AT the super-soldier dressed in the American flag, not around him. Don't they realize he can throw his shield in a neat little arc!?

I can't wait for the full scene teased by the brief shot of our stars making out in the back of Tommy Lee Jones's jeep. What a reluctant chaperone he'll be.

I know the SuperBowl trailer already had the shot of Hugo Weaving pulling off his Hugo Weaving mask to reveal his true form, but somehow it felt a lot more like a Scooby-Doo villain this time. Like we're going to think this guy is a nice enough dude for a while--until, ut oh, it turns out Old Man Nazi was Rouge Skeleton all along! Plus, he was a Nazi!

All that said, this looks, at the very least, like a functional-enough telling of a Captain America origin to prepare for The Avengers. And if you take the winged helmet off Evans, the second half of the film would also probably be a better G.I. Joe movie than the one we got.

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