'Bloodsport' Happening Again, Sans Van Damme

May 17, 2011


Even films constructed entirely around an excuse for Jean-Claude Van Damme to show off how well he does the splits are apparently not immune to Hollywood's remake disease. ScreenDaily reports that producer Ed Pressman has hired original Karate Kid writer Robert Mark Kamen and Salt director Phillip Noyce to relaunch the Bloodsport franchise with a remake of the original.

The 1988 Bloodsport--the third and final film (and second with "blood" in the title) from director Newt Arnold--told the supposedly true story of Frank Dux, an Army man/ninja who goes AWOL to compete in and, of course, win the Kumite, a clandestine Hong Kong martial arts tournament that is basically a Street Fighter without all the fireballs and flashy outfits. The script Kamen is writing will apparently move the tournament to Brazil for some reason--probably solely because of the Rio-based success of Fast Five and Rio--and will highlight the former-military aspect by bringing it to modern times, with our protagonist using the tournament to "recover from the violence he has experienced in Afghanistan." Because what cures a bad case of PTSD better than doing the splits and burying your fist in a scrotum?

Ahh, now you can finally stop panicking when you hear a car backfire.

Anyway, considering that we don't really have a modern counterpart to JCVD, the question now is who would star in such a thing. Ray Park? Channing Tatum, once we train his dancin' legs to do a 180° part at the crotch? Yeah, probably that one.

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