We're Remaking 'Carrie', and Stephen King Figures Why Not Put Lindsay Lohan in It?

May 20, 2011

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MGM's post-bankruptcy philosophy of betting it all entirely on sequels and remakes (because their Vin Diesel-the-Robot movie might as well be a remake) continues today with the revelation that the studio has hired Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa to slap a new coat of pig blood on Carrie and write a reboot of the Stephen King classic.

Far from undefiled, Carrie has already been adapted into a now-classic 1976 Brian De Palma film and a TV movie--meant to be the pilot to a new series wherein we'd follow Carrie around on her telekinetic adventures--and spawned a 1999 sequel (The Rage: Carrie 2) that was both a critical and commercial failure. Aguirre-Sacasa--hired partially because he's already adapted the author, having written a graphic novel of The Stand, and partially because he just got some press for re-writing Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark--is said to be writing a version closer to the original novel, with a purer vision of a girl's first telekinetic period.

As for casting? It's early, but Stephen King already has an idea: how about Lindsay Lohan? And, hey, while we're at it, why not with David Lynch/Cronenberg behind the lens? The author joked(?) to Entertainment Weekly:

I've heard rumblings about a Carrie remake, as I have about The Stand and It. Who knows if it will happen? The real question is why, when the original was so good? I mean, not Casablanca, or anything, but a really good horror-suspense film, much better than the book. Piper Laurie really got her teeth into the bad-mom thing. Although Lindsay Lohan as Carrie White... hmmm. It would certainly be fun to cast. I guess I could get behind it if they turned the project over to one of the Davids: Lynch or Cronenberg.

Sorry, Stephen King, but I'm smelling Kristen Stewart and 3-D, PG-13 pig blood from whoever is doing Final Destination 5. David Lynch should sure do something with unexpected menstruation, though. Any ideas, David Lynch?

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